Das folgende ist wohl so ziemlich das genialste was ich in den letzten paar Monaten lass.Ich lag am Boden und wisst ihr was.Es ist war ::D

McMahon sits at his desk, admiring himself in a mirror. In walks Good Ol' JR.

JR: Hey Vince. I have some great ideas on how to get some of the talent over.

Vince: Oh, you have some ideas about Undertaker?

JR: No.

Vince: Kane?

JR: No... I mean some of the WCW talent.

Vince: Oh, like Jericho? We have him feuding for the WCW... err, World title don't we.

JR: The thing is, Vince, Jericho's been in the WWF for the past 3 years. He's really not WCW anymore. I was thinking more along the lines of people we got in the merger.

Vince: I don't know. Ric Flair seems too old to hold a title, but if you think so...

JR: Actually, I was thinking about Booker T.

Vince: Who?

JR: Booker T... *sighs* Spinaroonie.

Vince: Oh yeah! Spinaroonie! Great guy! I don't think so, though. He can't bring in the crowds.

JR: Well, he may not have the best mic skills, but maybe if you let him wrestle...

Vince: What, and risk hurting the Rock or Angle? What kind of man do you think I am! I would never risk injuring my own for a WCW wrestler!

JR: But the thing is, Booker T is a great wrestler! He really never hurts anyone, and he'd be great investment if you'd let him use his suplexes and moves. He had some great feuds with WCW guys like Jeff Jarrett and Scott Steiner.

Vince: You don't need to "wrestle" to get over. Look at the Undertaker, and Kane, and Big Slow...

JR: You mean "Big Show."

Vince: Whatever.

Tazz walks in.

Tazz: Hey Vince, just wondering if I had a match this week.

Vince: Yeah, I came up with a great gimmick for you.

Tazz: *excited* Really, what?

Vince: Well, this week on Raw you'll dress in drag and face Trish Stratus for the Women's title.

Tazz: *confused* So I'm going to win the Women's Title?

Vince: No, I said you would wrestle for it. I'm going to go ahead and have Trish beat you.

Tazz: *excited* Oh, wait! I get it! Someone like Rikishi or Christian will run down and cost me the match. Then I can feud with them till the next PPV!

Vince: Uh... no. I like you where you are right now. Besides, losing to Trish cleanly will help put her over as a legitimate wrestler.

Tazz: *dejected* oh...

JR: Well, Vince, instead of Booker T, what about DDP! He's a great wrestler and can really work the mic.

Vince: I don't know... he made Undertaker look bad in a couple of matches...

JR: I don't think that was DDP's fault really. That's another thing, Vince. Don't you think it's time to talk to Callous about retiring.

Vince: Why?

JR: Well, don't you think his matches are somewhat lacking nowadays. Besides, his backstage politics are really constraining some of the newer stars.

Vince: I hadn't noticed.

In walks Paul Heyman.

Paul: Hey, Vince, we need to talk.

Vince: Hey, Paul! How's my creative genius doing.

Paul: I have some problems with the upcoming matches. Remember when I talked to you about RVD's next match.

Vince: Of course.

Paul: Well, I originally said I thought he should wrestler LANCE STORM, not the Undertaker!

Vince: I know, but don't you think the Undertaker's a better opponent.

Paul: Not really. He's doesn't sell moves, has a limited moveset, and is crippled with injuries and age.

Vince: Yeah, but he's got to be better than Lance Storm.

Paul: What?

Vince: Well, Undertaker's the Phenom, and he's 100% WWF!

Paul: This is your problem, Vince. Your entire company is beginning to be based upon has-beens. I came here at your request to help salvage your falling ratings. I sold you my company, and some of the best talent in the world, so that you could have a new base of talented new stars to revolve your corporation around. And what do you do with them? Tazz, one of the biggest names in ECW, is nothing more than a fat joke! Justin Credible, Tommy Dreamer, Raven... all buried. Rhyno is out after one of his 5000 Hardcore matches, and RVD is being buried in the middle card when quite frankly he's at least on par with Jericho and Kane in popularity.

Vince: You're a funny man, Paul! You should use that for your next promo!

Paul groans in frustration and leaves. He almost bumps into an entering Chavo Guerrero, Jr.

Chavo: Hey, Vince.

Vince: Who are you?

Chavo: I'm Chavo Guerrero Jr. I'm a 5 time WCW cruiserweight champion and Eddy's nephew.

Vince: *Looks at list in front of him* Chavo... Chavo... Chavo... *points to place on list* Oh yeah, you're fired.

Chavo: Why?!?

Vince: You're uncles an alcoholic. Sorry.

Chavo: This is outrageous. You can't fire me because of my uncle's actions. You're just trying to cut me, but I have a contract. You'll here from my lawyer.

Vince: Yeah, yeah. That's what everybody else said. *hit's intercom* Lackey, remove this man.

Shane Douglas comes in wearing a Butler's suit. He grabs Chavo and drags the kicking and screaming wrestler outside.

JR: Well, what about Lance Storm or Chris Kanyon? They both have good mic skills and are fairly well known.

Vince: I don't know. They may be a little too small...

Stone Cold Steve Austin walks in.

SCSA: Hey Vince, JR, Bitch boy.

Vince: Hey Steve.

JR: Hey Stone Cold.

Tazz: What did you call me?

SCSA walks over to Tazz, takes off his belt, and begins whipping him with it. Tazz gets up and begins to choke Austin out.

Vince: Let him go this instant or you're fired.

Tazz: But he hit me first!

Vince: I don't care. That's Stone Cold Steve Austin! He's a former WWF Champ, and he doesn't deserve that!

Tazz: But...

Vince: What?

Tazz: This is ridiculous...

Vince: What?

Tazz: I quit! *Drops unconscious Austin and leaves*

Vince: What?

JR: Aren't you a little concerned...

Vince: No, he'll be back. He always comes back... HA HA HA HA HA!

Ric Flair enters the office, followed by Shane McMahon.

Flair: Vince, by God!, McMahon. Whoooooo!

Vince: *rolls eyes* Hi, Flair.

JR: Hey Ric.

Shane: Dad, it's not fair! I wanted to be in charge of WCW!

Vince: Shane, we've been through this. Ric Flair is still a recognizable name, like Hogan or Foley. He can help us out of this ratings slump.

Flair: Whooooo.....

Shane: It's still not fair. If I had it my way, I'd fire the senile bastard!

Flair: *begins convulsing and strutting around the office, his face turning bright purple* You can't fire me, I'm already fired! Whoooo! You can't fire me, I'm already fired! Whooo! You can't fire me, I'm already fired! Whooo! You... *continues chanting*

Shane: See what I mean. The guys' lost it! I should be the owner of WCW!

Vince: *seriously at his son* Shane, it's a gimmick. It's not real. I own both companies. You and your sisters are my employees, not my contemporaries.

Shane: I WANNA! I WANNA! I WANNA!

Shane storms out of the office. Ric is still chanting and strutting around the office.

JR: Could you please cut that out!

Flair: Jim, by God!, Ross! Whooo... To be the man, you gotta beat the man. And I'm the man! Whoooo!

JR: Flair, actually maybe you can help. We're trying to figure out a good WCW superstar to give the World Title too...

At that instant, the Undertaker burst into the door.

UT: Hey Vince, JR, I have a GREAT idea!

JR: This isn't going to be like the Kronik idea, is it?

UT: That wasn't my fault. Besides *in conspiratory tone* I think Tazz was really behind that.

Vince: I'll fix that sumabitch. At Heat I'll have him wrestle Funaki, and lose!

Everyone in the office laughs for a few seconds.

Vince: Whew... that was a good one. Okay, Mark, what's your idea?

UT: Picture this--The Undertaker vs. Biggy Daddy Cool, Diesel. Hell in a Cell. Wrestlemania. The rematch of the century.

JR: Actually, we were planning on having Rock vs. HHH for the 30th time at Wrestlemania...

Vince: What are you talking about, JR? That's a great idea! Besides, we all know how well our recent PPV's have been selling when Mark main events them!

JR: Well, we'd have to buy out Nash's contract... I don't think it's a good idea.

Vince: Shut up, JR. Did it ever occur to you that no one values your opinion. That's why half the predictions you make in the Ross report never come true. D'lo Brown coming back soon. Ha ha ha ha!

Everyone in the office besides Ross laugh.

Undertaker: Anyway, there's one catch. Nash will want to reform the clique... a revised clique.

JR: The clique ended up being more of a hindrance than a help last time.

Undertaker: Nash has personally promised me this time it will be different.

Vince: Who's going to be in this clique.

Undertaker: Just Nash, Scott Hall, X-pac, and Justin Credible.

Vince: Justin who?

JR: Justin Credible. ECW. Former ECW champ. Impact Players.... sigh.

Vince: Doesn't ring a bell. Catchy name, though. Justin Credible. Just Incredible. Hah. Well, that sounds good to me.

Undertaker: Oh, one more thing. They'll all want titles.

Vince: Oh that shouldn't be difficult. We'll start by giving Waltman the Lightheavyweight title again.

JR: Well, Tajiri is a really good wrestler and is doing really well as champ. Maybe we should give him time.

Vince: Isn't he part of Kaientai?

JR: No.

Vince: Well, he should be. That's where we put all our Japanese wrestlers. That way we can make fun of their ethnic heritage.

JR: Besides, the fans don't really like Waltman.

Vince: Well, we'll just make him a heel. That way, we can pretend that the "X-pac Sucks" chants are just because he's a heel, rather than that everyone thinks he sucks. Anyway, we'll give Scott Hall the IC title, and this Justin Incredible guy the European title. And I think I'll change Justin Credible to Just Incredible instead. It's funnier that way.

JR: But Edge and Christian have been doing so well in singles competition. This would be a huge blow!

Vince: Bah! With our overcrowded roster, there's no room for career advancement! We'll put them as a tag team again. They can feud with the Hardys. And the Dudleys. They like that.

JR: Well, the Hardys are breaking up, and that feud is getting stale, anyway.

Vince: Nonsense! We'll make TLC 3 at Vengeance, and then TLC 4 at Royal Rumble. We'll wait until Wrestlemania for TLC 5. Then, at Backlash, TLCG with Kaientai.

JR: That "G" better not stand for what I think it means!

Vince: Hey, if Big Show can say it Live on International television, I sure as Hell can name a match after it!

JR: I can't take this anymore! I quit!

Vince: Fine. Don't let the door hit you on the way out. I'll replace you with Coachman.

Ross storms out. Vince suddenly turns extremely displeased as Coachman gets out from under his desk.

Coachman: I am honored. I can't begin to...

Vince: Shut up and get back under the desk. You have work to do...

Coachman sighs and get's back under the desk. We here a zipper unzipping, and Vince's face lightens again.

Vince: That's better.

Undertaker: So can I bring Nash in or not.

Vince: Sure, but tell him that if he has a bad match with you, he's out!

Undertaker: Oh, one more thing. At Royal Rumble, Nash wants to have a handicap match for the Unified title and win. He wants to face Jericho, Rock, and Austin. That way, I can win the title AGAIN at Wrestlemania, in that Hell in a Cell match.

Vince: No problem. It'll be a slobberknocker!

They both laugh and Undertaker exits. Vince notices Flair in the corner.

Vince: What are you still here for?

Flair: I want to talk about the company Vince. The way I see it, we need a new Four Horsemen. I have some ideas, including Booker T., Chris Benoit, maybe Lance Storm, Albert, or maybe Test....

Vince: Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'll give you Steven Richards, Bull Buchanan, and the Goodfather... err Godfather... err Kama Mustafa... err.. you give him a gimmick this time.

Flair: But I can't work with talent like that. They new Horsemen will be a laughingstock.

Vince: And Mongo wasn't? Your problem, not mine.

Flair begins to turn purple, goes into convulsions, and struts out of the office. He pauses once to bounce off of imaginary ring ropes before continuing out.

1 hour later, Ric Flair comes back into the office.

Flair: Have you changed your mind about the 4 Horsemen yet?

Vince: Why yes, I have!

Flair: You have!

Vince: I've decided to make the new 4 Horsemen leader, Steven Richards!

Flair: What? I refuse to listen to that moron!

Vince: Don't worry, you won't have to, because you're not even gonna be in the group, Val Venis will take your spot.

Flair: You can't be serious! Next thing you know, you'll have Ivory join up and have a relationship Steven Richards.

Vince: Damn, you read my mind don't you?

(Flair flips off Vince and storms out of the office. Maven enters.)

Maven: Sup Vince.

Vince: Hey Raven.

Maven: I'm not Raven, I'm Maven!

Vince: Oh, so what do you want?

Maven: I want an angle!

Vince: Oh! I have the perfect idea! I'll have you lose match after match to Kurt Angle. This will lead up to the Royal Rumble. At the Rumble, I'll have you fight someone other than Angle.

Maven:*excited* Really? Who?

Vince: Raven!

Maven: That sounds ok, but shouldn't we have an angle leading up to this?

Vince: I'm way ahead of you, the storyline will be formed on the Sunday Night Heat right before the Rumble.

Maven: Oh, it's one of those on-the-fly things?

Vince: Yes, but there's a twist. You and Raven argue over rhyming rights. I think your match at the Rumble should be a gimmick match.

Maven: I don't like where this is going.

Vince: You and Raven will do battle in a rhyming match. Each of you will choose words. Whoever can make the most rhymes out of the word will win.

Maven: What word will I get?

Vince: Cactus!

Maven:*pissed* What word will Raven get?

Vince: Cat!

Maven: What! I hate this angle!

Vince: That's ok, I have one more idea, you disguise yourself and make a guest appearance at Tough Enough 2.

Maven: Who will I diguise as?

Vince: Well, The Rock has a busy schedule, but it will help publicity if he's on the show.

Maven: So, you're saying?

Vince: You're going to dress as the Rock!

Maven: But----

Vince:*hits intercom button* Lackey!

*Shane Douglas once again enters in a butler suit. He drags Maven out of the office.*

*Jerry Lawler enters*

Jerry: Hey Vince, I think it was a great idea having JR fired. Now the dream combination of me and Coach can shine.

Vince: Actually, I was thinking of giving you a wrestling angle.

Jerry: What!?

Vince: Yeah, I was thinking of having you defeat the Dudley Boyz for the Tag-Titles.

Jerry: But who will take my place at the commentary table?

*Mike Sanders enters.*

Sanders: Hi Vince!

Vince: Hi Mike!

*Sanders leaves.*

Jerry: I thought the Dudleyz were going to fight in TLC matches for the next several PPV's?

Vince: Yes, but you will win the belts in one of the matches with your partner.

Jerry: Who is my partner?

Vince: None other than, Paul Heyman!

Jerry: You're kidding me!

Vince: No, but then Stacy will leave the Dudley Boyz and have a relationship with.....

Jerry:*excited* Me?

Vince: No, Paul Heyman! Lita will also leave the Hardyz to be with......

Jerry: *excited* Me?

Vince: No, Paul Heyman again. This will continue, he will also have Torrie Wilson with him after he beats Tajiri at Backlash in the TLCG match. I'm also planning on having Trish go with Paul Heyman after he defeats The Rock in a RAW main event.

Jerry: *crying* Why?

Vince: Publicity! Paul will start a Godfather-like gimmick. He will have the 4 bombshells with him at every show. But, not to worry, you will also have 4 women with you.....

Jerry: *gaining conifidence*: Really? Who?

Vince: Mae Young, Fabulous Moolah, Linda, and I'm gonna have to reinstate somebody.

Jerry: *hoping it's someone hot*: Who?

Vince: Daffney! That angle will be excellent. I'm also planning on buying out David Flair and Crowbar's contracts. This will create a prime Tag-Team feud. They will win the Tag-Titles from you and your team will disband. Heyman's 8 girls will feud with your 8 girls. End of story, get the hell out of my office.

*Jerry storms out of the office.*

Vince: Ah, sweet victory, Coach, start zipping!


Wer sich das durchgelesen hat wird am boden liegen

Alleine schon bei der Stelle mit Trish und Tazz am Anfang lag ich am boden

Original von Silk
Das Schreckliche ist...manches traue ich wirklich in dieser Form Vince zu!

Das meine ich ja,habe ich auch oben geschrieben.Das ist so real .Das ist 100% Vince

Genau an den muss ich auch gerade denken .Aber so stelle ich mir Vince vor(auch wenn es nur spass ist),wenn er in seinem Buero sitzt,der denkt doch nur an seine Stars,und geilt sich an seinem Produkt auf,so koennte doch Vince sein.