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1991 Wrestling Rap - Nefercheperur - 28.10.2016
Auszug aus dem WON 1992.
1991 WRESTLING RAP
By MC Kool Ernie (Santilli)
Since rapping about wrestling's become the "thing to do"
I've written lots of rhymes and I'll share them with you.
The American Dream began the year with a new look
He traded his polka dots for a pencil and book
Though it had been a while, he proved he wasn't rusty
By giving the biggest push to a character named Dusty
Meanwhile in the Fed, Vince K. caused an uproar
When he came up with an angle to exploit the Gulf War
Some columnists suggested he wasn't a nice guy
But you wouldn't know it if you only read SI
No, Vinnie, no, Vinnie, no Vinnie, no!
Herb Abrams moved his indie from the West to East Coast
Made his viewers happy when he stepped down as host
Cactus Jack's still in the business he was said to expose
While Ole's working at his sawmill and picking his nose
Missy took our hearts and turned them topsy-turvy
When we found out that her boyfriend was Jason Hervey
Sherri dropped Savage and got a Million Dollar Man
Now she stores his Franklins where she doesn't have a tan
Bobby Eaton's popularity his an all-time peak
So they had him lose two title matches in three weeks
Jim Cornette worked anywhere vendors sold Pepsi Cola
Vegas, Dallas, Parts Unknown and Pensacola
Mean Mark debuted his Undertaker bit
And gave Warrior a "coffin fit"
We thought the Ding Dong gimmick was pretty dumb
Until we saw what the ex-Master Blaster had become
The Jarretts staged a war between Texas and Tennessee
Half the battles were fought by General Eric Embry
Lawler shocked the Memphis crew; told them, "Please be quiet
I've got tragic news: Tramel folded Rasslin' Riot"
Sid Vicious left Atlanta but he had a valid reason
He didn't want to work during softball season
In came a logger, gay, Desperados and a rapper
The fans said, "This promotion is going down the crapper"
Titan Sports was in the headlines yet another time
When the Immoral One's name was linked to an Allentown crime
Hulk Hogan spoke about steroids with Arsenio
And told a fairy tale worthy of Pinocchio
Although cynics declared it would never happen
Big Joe got his promotion on ESPN
Makhan Singh took one look at the announcer's lack of hair
Said, "Turn it down Scott, I'm blinded by the glare"
From the offices in Atlanta came the mind-boggling word
"No extension for the Naitch, but we'll give one to Herd"
New rules on chain matches, flags on scaffolds, no Flair, What's this trash?
The worst pay-per-view in memory--The Baltimore Bash
Put one finger in the air and chant "We Want Flair"
Rumors spread Ric would make a SummerSlam debut
Instead Jim Hellwig was fired, bye-bye, boo-hoo
The wedding was about as exciting as "Oprah"
Family entertainment? Bride threatened by a cobra
As his brothers Beau and Blake won another squash
Steve Beverly told readers, "I'm giving up Matwatch."
At the September Clash, WCW debuted their newest bland hunk
They would sign him, but wouldn't go after Owen or Funk
Despite mixed reactions to McMahon signing Ric Flair
Vince pleased everyone when he let himself be clobbered with a chair
Paul E. got heat over what he did or didn't say
And in the end he wound up with three weeks off with pay
Scott Anthony teased viewers as to who was The Boss
Tony Danza? Clarence Thomas? Or maybe Don Coss
Madusa made a splash finding "knucks" in Blossom's blouse
"Please let us frisk her," pleaded every man in the house
I dissed Dusty earlier as you all know
However he deserves credit for the last Clash show
Pins, surprises, angles and the return of The Dragon
A comeback sign for those who fell off the bandwagon
Hulk's religious interviews, they left us in a daze
Because all along we thought the Whiff's Lord was Al Hayes
The Hulkster dropped the belt; six days later got it back
Then got stripped by Titan's lead heel, Mean President Jack
All kidding aside, we felt dismay when we were told
Don Owen's promotion was probably going to fold
No more Billy Jack Haynes terrorizing the Crow's Nest
No Fiesta Garden, Grappler's boot nor any of the rest
Remember as the old promotions fade from the sport
New indies are starting, let's give them our support
But beware of the false advertisers out for the quick buck
When they b.s. you once, say to them, "I don't give a flying...."
Eventful is the best way to describe 1991
Ups and downs, but in hindsight, we had our share of fun
Despite the jokes I'm busting, I don't know about you
But I'm looking forward to 1992